She was just another he took for a ride…until his train broke…the speed of mania.
For awhile and while at the throttle…herbs and beer and wine and vodka helped…calm his nerves…and his trembling hand reaching for her…
Walls and walls and walls he found
when shortly after…the intervention and running out of tracks leading to his truth…the lies began pouring out like venom upon them.
Now he is too hopeless and not proud enough to beg for forgiveness his once charming ego again…doesn’t know how to earn.
So enjoy the new found freedom from romance and just try…never thinking of having left her…bleeding
Because she left him…in need of a tourniquet…for his heart.
After all he was only looking too hard for inspiration in his life…for one more…psalm of sorrow.

Judgment Day

I pray it will be soon…I pray it will be far away.
because I’m in between here and now
I don’t want to live…and I don’t want to die.
I’m just praying it will be soon…I’m just praying it will be far away

Because I’m finally sicker than anyone…
of seeing Van Gough’s eyes in my mirror
looking back from his bloody cross…
I’m just praying the end is soon…I’m just praying it will be far away.

Because I’m in between here and now…with no where else to go…
I’m tired of living…without love…I’m terrified of passion…dieing in my arms.
Because I can’t stand being perverted…I can’t stand being holy
so what can I do…in between…here and now?

Because I’m tired of the accolades…I’m tired of the condemnations.
Because I’m in between here and now
I want to be with someone. I want to be alone.
But mostly I’m just praying…the end is soon. I’m just praying…it will be far away.

Rehabilitation

More than a lifetime ago…they let a boy out of prison because he had been rehabilitated.
But the authorities failed to take the prison…out of the man
so he seldom spoke…even on the Holy Days about his nightmare…that he never really escaped.

Besides no one who wasn’t a member of the rare fraternity…wanted to hear…about his rapists picking on him
to play pool and basketball with…after he had been welcomed in to the lonely fraternity
and after his first night of being sodomized during hazing…in the shower.

So eventually and periodically thereafter he snapped at the thought of love
and treated those who did love him as if they were they enemy
because he had to forever know…he had been…rehabilitated mostly…by the tears and the touch…of his fellow man in chains.

The Prenuptial

According to the prenuptial…winner takes all…in the divorce proceedings finalized next week.
The looser leaves with his heart…he doesn’t want either.
She takes the beauty of all the seasons yet to be…along with his last Harvest Moon…
while he takes the burning embers of love…he wanted her to own…longer.

And because money was never an issue his golden pen is still trying to guarantee
child support and alimony…and happiness for who ever is currently…her favorite…in bed.

Where it all went wrong is hard to say.
According to Court documents it is the usual story.
According to her, according to him…they agreed
she wasn’t responsible…and he was completely…for the end.

So psychiatrists were brought in from around the globe
to solve the unsolvable…Freudian problems.

Europe was discussed as not nearly far enough away an asylum…for him to be exiled to.
So he agreed to further conditions of abstinence…from political and religious discussions
and to continue to study the names of every current sports figure…of the ancient world.

After filing papers did she ever again think of him with the same tenderness…as during their short walks home?
He may never know because she was always prone…to those types of mistakes in judgement…for others.
But since he has been to the summit and he had been to the abyss…even his grand daughter learned to fear him
because he simply called too much and scribbled inappropriately too much…from both places.
____________________

The Discovery of America

Like too many others in the darkness I watched their merciful God die…in the presence of the nun
and to the laughter of all of Christendom…when I during torture…and young…and white…
continued to argue in favor of the Tribe…crossing the Ocean first.

But like any innocent seeking learning…eventually I broke and recanted my story
in favor of the painful Truth…of Logic.

Until still older and for a shorter time I found a hiding place in the forest the cowboy owned
where I could be secretly in the Age of Want and forever wanting to be…the Native who loved the land.

They are only memories now of a time before so many bitter trades,
before so many deadly battles and before so many…Wars Against the Heart.

Now I am only left with wondering when my death finally replaces my life was it a fair exchange…
exchanging the superstitions of mystery and awe…for the sciences…of their dogma?

By means of violence, by means of drunken debauched behavior,
by means of an abortion and by means of lewd obnoxious suggestions
your lovers found their way in and out of your bed beneath the Cross hanging from the post
while I waited and waited and waited and waited for decades…just to meet you…

One night when I tried to establish once and forever it takes more courage
to beg for the love of someone to hold my hand
than to die for a cause…in front of the factory of letters.

So forgive me when I too am among the men…trying to compete…who don’t know what they are doing
after all you are not the first my soul has used this closing line on…but for the sake of my heart I hope you are the last
I have to tell my greatest fear to…because with all the chaos I still don’t know…
if it’s because I love you too much or too little…that I can never see you…again.

She survived several good…and bad marriage proposals by him
with the final one on a dark manic night…resulting in a divorce decree…by the courts.
So like anyone of his age…for whom the flesh is willing but the spirit is weak
this is just another last will and testament…to his confusion
and giving up too late the holy science of politics…and the art…of cruelty.

As for what G-d’s plan has to do with love
because the man was obsessed with it…and an enemy of it
but most of all because he couldn’t comprehend it
he decided wrongly their future together…was written…in stone.

And because statistically speaking more of his poems to her
died in the solitary confinement…of his youth alone
than of all other sources combined
the woman decided correctly she could help him forever…no more.

For he has no friends other than all those about him…who suspect him…
of plotting…with evil…to destroy all those who dare…come near…
just a little…nearer, lover…to forgive me, lover…for in time I promise to love, honor…and know
you will forgive me…for trying…to forget you…if that is all…you ever wanted.

Prayer for the Death of a Grandfather

He came from the dysfunctional side of the human family.
So…he was dysfunctional.
She came from a small tribe. So it was not about the money.
She was fed up…with him…being fed up…about the war.
Medication and quitting helped him survive…
the death of fall…and the rumors of another ice age.
Children, the beast of pray and a 1,000 lovers helped her…go on forgetting…
medication and quitting…helped him at all…replace her laughter.

Like any coward…he wanted to blame everyone
but who was responsible…for his inevitable train wreck.
So she offered to translate his poetry…so it would rhyme for the world.
Here is a test. You can begin…with this apology to your daughter by the unsaveable:

Don’t take the unforgivable so personal.
Forgive him as easily or as hard as you would anyone who hungers
for life when they felt they were dieing in the beauty of childhood
as the smallest…of the ugliest and unlovable.

Because.
Despite all his cruelty…between his circumcision and death.
Despite all his blood letting…between the diseases of the mind and the cures of his soul.
But most of all…because your mother believed his story…I want her even more now…to believe what he knows.
For me it will never be an easy prayer to undue pain in the here and now by saying…good-by forever.
________________________

_____________________________

On the pages of some Holy Book…from long ago is the following inscription:

Stolen especially for Maid Marion
who never understood Robin
who never understood himself
..how the hungry…can steal.

_____________________________

A Street Called Berlin

I remember a knock once at the door of an old lover…who I lost.
It was a dark time I want to forget…
carrying a child through the streets of Sodom
only to arrive late trying to break into the room
she had for anyone…but an infant boy.

In those days like today it was a typical Inn.
The owner was well protected…by guards.
So I tried even the magic of begging…for love
which leads me to the question…why
do you think by saying my name was Joseph
would it have given my family…a place to rest?

Do lies work better than prayer…
like years later when it was all in a typical days work
to trade stolen goods in Gomorrah…for medicine…for another child.

___________________

Death of an Elder

Some elders have a right to know.
Some are not that profound.
And for some…even teaching
obscenities and profanities to innocence
is not one of their charms.

So by the time he returned
to the real world…he began
to rewrite this story to himself:

Once upon a time
he could have been happy
with almonds and flowers…and her.
But he expected too much
because he wanted too little.

So as the funeral party moved on
a new lover laughed and danced
at the music of these lines:
from flesh to flesh
from ashes to ashes
now they will never find you…hiding here.

Police rush man on Main Street in Westover

CHUCK HAUPT / Press & Sun-BulletinBroome County Sheriff’s deputies tackle a war protester who was threatening to set himself aflame. The man was sitting on the top of his car as Johnson City firefighters used a hose to spray water on the protester during a standoff on Main Street near BAE in Westover this afternoon. He had two gas containers and was shouting for the war to end by 6 p.m. The gas containers were filled with water.

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WESTOVER — Officials shut down Main Street during rush hour after a man parked his car in the middle of the street, sat on top of its roof and threatened to light himself on fire if the Iraq War wasn’t stopped by 6 p.m.

The standoff ended when a Johnson City firefighter rushed toward the man, spraying him with a fire hose, while four sheriff’s deputies and Johnson City Fire Chief Henry W. Michalovic tackled the man, pulling him from the roof.

Broome County sheriff’s deputies and Johnson City fire personnel blocked off Main Street around 4:30 p.m., when they arrived on the scene and found the man sitting on the car in between BAE Systems and the Aldi grocery. The road was reopened around 5:15 p.m.

The man phoned authorities and threatened to light himself on fire, the sheriff’s office said. During the standoff, the man used gasoline cans to pour liquid on himself. The gas cans were later found to contain water.

The man was taken to Binghamton General Hospital, said Broome County Sheriff’s Office Sgt. Vasili G. Yacalis.

Charges are pending an emergency mental health evaluation, the sheriff’s office said.

LINK TO THE THE 31 WHIMS OF THE B.A.E. BUDDHA IN THE FOURTH ORDER…OF ALL HALLOWS, PAGANS, SAINTS, SINNERS, INFIDELS IN WAITING, FOOLS AND MINISTERS OF TEARS PLANET EARTH…HERE!

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